There are plenty of articles telling us what authors wish they had known in their early twenties.  But to be honest, I’m grateful for what I didn’t know then. It’s been fun learning along the way.

So, here’s my list. Twenty things I’m glad I learned on my own.

1. Friendships come and go. Someone probably told me that in my early twenties, but I wasn’t ready to hear it. And thank goodness for that!  If I had known then that not all friendships would last, I might never have experienced the wonderful connections that got me through some of the trying times in my early twenties.
2. Sometimes, it doesn’t all work out. I love hearing “everyone has a happy ending; if you’re not happy then its not the end.” It took me a long time to recognize that my happiness comes from within, and when I recognized it, I was able to accept it because of my experiences.
3. Not everyone needs college. When I graduated high school, I told me parents I wanted to travel. They insisted on college. Now, having a degree in theater arts (with equally useful minors in music and creative writing), I’m aware that college isn’t for everyone. But for me, it was four amazing years, when I learned a lot – even if it wasn’t all related to my major.
4. We’re NOT all meant for greatness. Imagining I was meant for some special purpose got me through lots of teenage angst, before I was ready to accept myself as a I am, meant solely for peace and happiness.
5. It’s okay not to be cool. It’s important to be your own person, and let your freak flag fly. Still, I learned a lot about self confidence from watching the “cool” kids.
6. Not everyone likes you. One day in high school, I realized that if I smiled, people smiled back! These days I’m aware that not everyone likes me, but then, it was a great ego boost to realize how many people did.
7. Facebook is going to stick around. I avoided jumping on the Facebook bandwagon, because I thought it was a fad. As a result, I avoided the mistakes so many of our college compatriates experienced.
8. Sugar is bad for you. Yes, my mother told me not to eat too much sugar. But I didn’t take her seriously. Frankly, given that I (along with far too many women of my generation) worry about all of the foods that could kill us, I’m pretty happy that we didn’t believe the hype about sugar any earlier than we did.
9. Some people don’t like their jobs. I’m sad to say that most people don’t, and I doubt I would have found this job if I hadn’t had faith that I ought to love what I do.
10. Being a grownup is awesome. I lived my teen years and early twenties like there was no tomorrow. Now that I know that the awesomeness continues, I’m still glad I got a head start.
11. Love and respect your parents – they won’t be around forever. No one needs pressure to love. Love has to come naturally, in its own time.
12. When you save money, your money makes money. For three years after college I traveled, tried internships, and spent any savings I made. And it was wonderful.
13. No relationship is perfect. Looking for perfection is what stops us all from settling. By the time we realize relationships aren’t perfect, we’re in the perfect one for us.
14. There are three sides to every story (yours, mine, and the truth). This is a very important lesson to learn. But first, it’s important to believe in yourself.
15. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Yeah, it’s true. And yet relying on networking too early robs people of the need to educate and rely on themselves.
16. Ultimately, we’re all on our own. There’s a reason children don’t think about death and cherish every moment with their parents. We realize we’re on our own at the time we’re ready to acknowledge it, and not a moment before.
17. Not every family owns a dog. I’m honestly not sure I would have ever moved to Boston had I known not all landlords were dog-friendly.
18. First love is not real love. This goes on the list of fun-killers. No one needs to know that the tingly feeling in their stomach is not a fairytale sign of happily ever after.
19. People judge you by what you wear. If you want to look professional, you can’t leave the house in yoga pants or go to dinner wearing tiger makeup. I’m glad I wasn’t worrying about that in college.
20. We all make it up as we go along. In my search for the answers, I learned so much. Had I known grownups didn’t have answers, I might have stopped searching.

What are you glad you didn’t know in your early twenties?